However, instead of being judged, she was met with validation. In an article for Today’s Parent, writer Liz Krieger shares how she expressed her disdain for parenting to an acquaintance. In one post, titled “ What If I Hate Being A Mom?” Nevares recalls telling an old friend how much she didn’t like being a mother, and how she quickly backpedaled after the friend reacted with shock. Many mothers have learned to hide some of their darker or conflicting thoughts about parenting: Mommywise founder Natalie Nevares has tackled this subject in her popular blog. It wasn’t until I was well into my 20s, reflecting back on my childhood that I realized all of the challenges that these women faced. But that’s the thing: So much of what we perceive about motherhood is an illusion. As a result, I assumed mothering was easy. They dressed elegantly, easily juggled the demands of their careers with parenting and still seemed to have ample time for themselves. The Cosby Show’s Clair Huxtable, Moesha’s Dee Mitchell, and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’s Aunt Viv felt familiar because they resembled the real-life mothers in my life, who all made motherhood seem effortless. Other mothers were in her orbit as well - neighbors, aunts, cousins, even the mothers I saw on TV. My mother, a gorgeous brown-skinned woman from the west side, with 12 siblings and an MBA, stood at the center. Growing up on Chicago’s south side in the ’90s and early 2000s, Black women were always the mothers.
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